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                    Arms Akimbo; Bewildered
Last Friday 5th Dec. 2014, I was passing beside the college notice boards. I came across one announcement which amazed me much. I stood there, read and re-read, couldn't believe my eyes: You have eyes right? Feast on it:

TO ALL THOSE 1ST YEAR WHO ATTEND ALL THE SEMINARS LED BY DR. MULUNGU SHOULD GO TO HIS OFFICE IN THE NEW BUILDING TO BE GIVEN ASSIGNMENTS FOR DS 101. THAT IS EXACTLY 3.00PM TO DAY, 04/02/2014
     BY DR.MULUNGU                                                                VIA                                                                   
     CR. DS 101
“TO ALL THOSE”. ‘ALL’ is a predeterminer meaning “whole quantity or extent of something”. ‘THOSE’ is also a determiner plural form of “that”. Oxford dictionary explains “that” as either a pronoun or determiner used to identify a specific person or thing observed by the speaker. So, from our honourable DS 101 CR is this combination correct? Sternly speaking, this combination is incorrect. Both determiners cannot determine the noun “1st Year”. And how can “THOSE” which can function as a pronoun precede a noun- for Modification? No, this can’t be.
The verb “GO” is also a case here. Sure, semantically this verb is correctly used, grammatically correct but does it collocate with the context? Go, is to move from one place to another. Your idea like mine is correct; I am afraid that the Class Rep. translated direct from Swahili “wanatakiwa kwenda” (should go…). Believe me or not, this is our kind of English. However, alternatively the writer would sound formal if he said “the first year students… should report to...”
“IN THE NEW BUILDING”? Seriously?! You’d better wrote the office number instead. There are so many new buildings, in campus and off campus. This is very ambiguous; where do you exactly want your subjects to go? It is good to be specific. This is a very minor thing but in an institution like this, small matters are turned gigantic.
“TO DAY”? No; the space in between the preposition “TO” and the noun “DAY” is quite incomprehensible. There is no such a compound either open or hyphenated. There is only one meaningful adverb “today” meaning on or in the course of the present day.
The word “VIA” is a breakthrough of all poorly used prepositions. The oxford dictionary defines the preposition VIA as travelling through (a place) en route to a destination; additionally it’s etymologically a Latin word meaning ‘way or road’. So, from how the word is unjustly used, what is your take on it?
Let’s face it boldly; the piece of announcement conveyed the intended message to the target audience. However, it did not treat the MUCE Academicians justly. MUCE is the reputable Academic Institution in the country and beyond borders. The display of announcements like this is a beautiful shame. Nevertheless, no one was born with English; it’s such a treacherous Language with complicated rules. In academic we share before displaying for the community to read. Share your documents before posting.
NOTE;
I am not aiming at annoying or disgusting anyone- Just take some deep thinking about this and surely you will agree with me in some points. Achebe once said “a mad man may sometimes speak a true word…” Some other time!


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